Mom-daughter Conversation

Assalamualaikum.
I'm back, ladies and gentleman!
Alert! Please be caution, this post will be another post about Nik's feelings. So kalau rasa macam tak nak ambil tahu, jangan baca

So I did post in my insta-stories about a conversation that I had with my mom. Actually, before nak tulis post ni, tanya pendapat mama, should I share this or tak perlu. And my mom said, why don't kan. Mana tahu ada orang yang dalam situasi sama dengan Nik and really need this kind of post kan. Okay apa lagi. Terus laju je tangan log-in blog sendiri kan.

Okay, for those yang tak follow my instagram, I will tell you what happen actually. Nik sebenarnya jarang bercerita soal hati dengan mama. Usually, I choose to share with my dad. Tapi malam tu tiba-tiba rasa nak share with my mom. Actually, Nik ada satu masalah dari dulu sampai sekarang. Nak tahu apa masalahnya? Promise, don't tell anyone okay? It is our secret! Haha. Nik ni jenis bila dah jatuh hati, I will be falling in love deeply. So memang bahaya lah kan. Eh jap tapi Nik bukan yang jenis mudah jatuh hati. Cuma, bila dah jatuh hati tu, ala korang faham-fahamkan sendiri lah. Haha

My family knows me well. Kalau setakat nak main-main tu bukan Nik lah. Tak ada masa. Umur pun dah 22 tahun dah. Kalau nak main-main bergayut macam monyet tu, fuh, buang masa. Hahaha so everytime I talk about boys, my parents and my sister akan sentiasa risau. Lagipun for certain people yang might be thinking yang umur 20-an ni chill la, tak payah nak serious sangat then sorry I don't have the same thought as yours. For me, kalau tak nak serious, don't start the relationship then. Okay pendekkan cerita, kita patah balik pada main story nye, macam jauh sangat tersasar. So that night, I told my mom everything. How I failed with my relationship again and how miserable my life after the break up. 

It was my first time having that kind of conversation with my mom. And yes, I got a hug from her. Weh, time macam tu la kita perlukan pelukan. I am this kind of girl yang time ada masalah ke, time stress ke, I prefer people to hug me. It is more than enough. I guess around 5-8 minutes, my mom keep on hugging me. Ya Allah, hilang semua benda dalam hati dan kepala. Alhamdulillah.

She told me that, everything related dengan hati ni memang susah nak sembuh. Once we get hurt, kita susah nak recover. Tapi pokok pangkalnya siapa yang pilih diri tu untuk disakitikan? For her opinion, it is not my mistakes as well as not his mistakes. But, both of us (me and him) have a communication problem and personality problem. We do have different personality and we didn't try to understand each other well even though we had been in relationship quite long. It is not because of we don't love each other. It is just we believe we can live without loving each other. Ego. Well, ego does kill everything. Somehow we are being too childish. Selalu ikut marah, selalu buat keputusan time marah. Oh yes everything yang my mom said tu betul. Both me and him, we were fine before this until one of us start to question our relationship. The one who always question our relationship is me. So the blame must be on me. Both of us made efforts but I always blaming him for not making an effort. So blame on me again. Until he chose to give up. Well, blame on me again. Hmm.

Is it too late to fix everything. Well for me, YES. It's too late. But for my mom, I have two choice.

First: GIVING UP If you wanna give up, you can just learn to let go and move on slowly. Sure it will takes time. Moving on from someone who we love so much and moving on from someone who we always share everything, it does take time. It will be hurt, it will make your day miserable but if you're willing to let go and move on, you can try you best. First, don't ever try to contact him. Second, stop stalking him in any ways. Third, delete all the pictures, videos and conversations. Fourth, learn to be independent. Fifth, stop doing what both of you always did together. In Shaa Allah, you will slowly move on. Macam senang kan. I repeat, it will be really hard. You have to be mentally strong. Selebihnya serahkan pada Allah. He will heal every pain.

Second: FIGHT AGAIN
If you feel like you guys still have chance to be together again, why don't you fight again? Yes, it is like you are taking a risk again. And yes, if he doesn't feel the same anymore, it might hurt you more. But, no harm in trying right? Go and try talk to him. Lower your ego, say sorry first. Make an effort. Look back on what both of you have been through for years. Love need ups and downs. You will be happy sometimes, you will be unhappy sometimes. But it doesn't mean you stop loving each other. Is it? In Shaa Allah everything will be fine again. Start as a friend since both of you still awkward with each other after what happened. Don't be too rush.

The choice in on your hand. Choose wisely.

Yes, mama banyak membantu actually. Everything she said, everything, make sense. Everything is true. Ye lah, mama and abah have being together for 26 years now. She knows about relationship.

She was right. I should make a choice. But, I don't know. I don't feel anything right now. I mean, yes I still love him. But, I don't know. I don't know whether I should fight again or just give up. I really hope he is the one who will choose instead. Hahaha memang tak la. He is fine without me. Eh tu bukan dah clue ke yang I should have give up?

Oh negative thinking comes again. I need to rest now. Haha. Thank you for reading and I hope my mom's advices will helps you guys too. I wish this post can help you guys who might be having same problem as mine. May Allah ease everything.

Waallahualam. 

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