Wanna Run Away, but....



Assalamualaikum.
Cuba teka, I just wrote this post just now tapi lupa nak save into draft. Hilang semua benda. And here I am, have to write everything all over again. Fuh, life is getting tougher eh, Nik? Haha.

So I am finally at home. Actually last night, since this few days, I have been warded for dengue. Alhamdulillah, I feel so much better. Praise to Allah. Tapi demam still ada dan sakit-sakit badan pun still ada. Normal, I used to it.

I just talked to my girl-best-friend just now. How I wish I can run away from this life for a while. Okay, do not get a wrong idea, I am not giving up of my life. Cuma, rasa nak give myself a break. I wanna go somewhere yang tenang, tak ada orang yang Nik kenal, tak ada orang yang kenal Nik. Just me myself and my peaceful mind. But, then back to reality, I can't. I don't even know where to go.

These few days, I keep on being disturb by fake account. Macam biasa. Same drama, same person, same stories. But, it has been a little bit over dramatic because it is involving my ex-boyfriend's fangirl. Oh yes people, he is not Brad Pitt, he is not Tom Cruise. He is just him. Tapi orang minat dia sampai obses. Oh god! Haha luckily he is my ex-boyfriend. Kalau boyfriend, sumpah rasa insecure yang amat. Hahaha. The story is getting a little bit interesting because semua sekali terbongkar. I mean, I know who get involved in these fake account things, who have planned all those things. It doesn't even surprised me, dah boleh agak actually. Thank you to my ex-boyfriend, IH for being supportive and for being protective. I couldn't ask for more. Haha somehow I feel like he still loves me but well, my heart, right now, having this kind of complicated situation when it always denying every single thing. All positives will be negatives. All negatives will be positives. You get what I mean right. I just thought that he might be tired dealing with all these stupid situation and stupid DMs. But, Alhamdulillah lepas ni he doesn't need to deal with all these anymore. Alhamdulillah. At least, dia dah tak perlu pening kepala and can focus on his life and his studies. Everything settle down with just one decision. I am glad!

My previous relationship, my feelings, my ex-boyfriend? I don't wanna think about that. Rasa macam it is the right time to move on and start a new life. Stop hanging onto someone, stop hoping for something that won't never happen. Rasa macam dah give-up with my own feelings. I choose to let go and choose to be by my own for this time being. Tak rasa nak relationship. Let's just say that hati cheq mati right now. I don't feel anything. It is totally kosong. Thank you for that my dear ex-boyfriend. What I know is, 'What are meant to be will always find it ways together' . So let's just wait and see.

My parents, my family. I don't wanna talk about this. What can I do right now, praying for the best. Both my mom and dad, they know what the best for them. I am going to support both of their decision. I love both of them. Will always love my family. So yeah!

I don't have problem with my studies so far. Everything fine. Alhamdulillah.

Oh one more thing, I am a little bit confuse with something. These one of the fake accounts told me that she hates me because of my attitude and my kind-hearted character. Hahaha this is funny for sure. I don't know what is wrong with people nowadays. Jadi jahat, people will judge you. Jadi baik pun, people will hate you. So nak jadi apa ni? Whatever it is, I will always being myself, I am Nik. You like it or not, well I am still Nik. Hahaha

My 2017, first month of 2017 is suck. I have to deal with a lot of things. And everything is sick. Tak tahu lah nak expect apa this year. But yeah, Allah is Great, He is the Best Planner. Allah tak akan beri ujian kepada seseorang jika dirinya tak mampu. Kan? Alhamdulillah for all these. Praise to Allah.

May Allah bless everyone and May Allah ease everything. Take care everyone! And be strong.

Wallahualam. See you guys soon!

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